You Don’t Know Me

Family + Baby, Uncategorized

Okay, I try and keep it pretty real and positive on here for the most part (haven’t fully opened up about everything-not that ready to yet) but I have to talk about something that’s been really burning me up and can’t stop thinking about.

The other night while I was working, I ran into someone I used to hangout with for a little before I had Callan, went on a few dates here and there but just didn’t really click. Anyways, I was polite and asked how he has been and he said good. Then he gave me this weird look and asked me, “So, how’s the whole baby thing working out? Must be really hard.” In probably the most judgmental way possible. There are so many other ways you can ask about my child, (who is pretty much perfect without question) than to ask with a look in your face like I’ve made some sort of mistake or something. Nonetheless, I didn’t want to make a big deal about it, especially at work so I replied with a “really good, she’s seriously the best.” Then he goes on to say something along the lines of, “well there’s a difference between a good kid and and easy kid. I’m sure it’s pretty hard.”… I could not believe I was even having this conversation. I couldn’t help but laugh and walk away at that point.

First of all, Callan is seriously thee best thing that has ever happened in my life and I wouldn’t change a single thing about her, the timing, her father, nothing. She’s absolutely perfect and I’ve never once looked at her like she was some sort of burden or mistake. She only continues to make my life brighter and happier every single day. Secondly, sure we have some hard days and I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never sat in my car and cried when sometimes it gets to be a lot but I’m only human and sometimes you have to let it out in order to reset.

But to stand there and judge me like you know my life and assume it must be really hard because I’m a young mom who isn’t married or anything, is so just plain rude and naive. I have such an unbelievable support system and family who constantly shower Callan with love and wanting to help out. I have no need for that kind of negative energy in my life about something so positive like a child.

Maybe the ones who judge only think the way they do because they have never experienced the love a parent has for a child and can’t even wrap their head around what they are actually missing. You carry this blessing in your body, surrendering it to be stretched and expanded in way you didn’t think possible, for this little person you haven’t even met yet because you already have this crazy love for them right from the start. Then, you see their little face and all their tiny features, and can’t even fathom how you have created something so unbelievably perfect. It won’t be until you have a kid of your own that you begin to understand and appreciate why your parents did the things that they did and made the choices they did until you are holding this precious little mini version of yourself, and don’t know what you would do if anything bad happened to them.

So bottom line, don’t judge someone based on what statistics say or what you think is right, because in reality you have no idea. Boy bye.

 

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One thought on “You Don’t Know Me

  1. I love your blog posts, dear Audrey! They’ve all been uplifting and relatable and so fun for me because I get to view your life vicariously. But this one I just have to comment on.
    I feel your anger/frustration/disappointment, or whatever it is we feel when something like that happens, because I’ve been there too. But if I’ve learned anything, it is that people who find fault with others are people who don’t feel good about themselves.
    I imagine that guy regretting he wasn’t the one for you, feeling bitter, or jealous, or dejected. Maybe he was raised by judgmental parents and has yet to think critically, independent of their influence. Who knows? I’m sad for him and others like him. What an awful way to live.
    You have love in your heart and you are loved by so many. I wish you never had to see how cruel troubled people can be. Perhaps he pushed a hurtful button, and I’m so sorry to know that you might have one.
    Please know that what he said was all about him and his problems.
    It was not about you!
    And that goes for anyone who says hurtful things to you.
    After years of experience, I finally learned to duck… As soon as I feel the ouch I remind myself it’s not about me and I let it roll off my back like water on a duck.
    I hope you’ll be a duck too!
    I love you!!
    Quack

    Like

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