Between Callan and work and somehow managing to squeeze in hanging out with friends, I’m exhausted. Then I realized why this was…I haven’t had a moment to myself to just breathe in who knows how long! I’m always trying to make the most of my time and lately all it feels like all I do is work, so when I do have an opening in my day and a friend asks if we can meet for lunch or something fun, I usually go because who knows when the next time our schedules will both be open at the same time again. But at the end of the day I’m totally defeated, you know why? Because I never have time to do anything for myself!
The truth is…I’m totally an introvert and love to just be alone. Even just painting my nails or read a book puts me in a better mood! When me and Dominick first started dating, there was plenty of times that I picked staying home by myself rather than hanging out, it just felt necessary. Then we had Callan and life just started moving at hyper speed, and well I was never really alone. Especially now that I’m working two jobs and she’s older now (which means she’s constantly wanting to do stuff), finding a moment to yourself is tough.
As most of you know and can probably tell, me and Dominick are no longer together and have taken on our new role as co-parents. Yeah yeah I know, it’s sad and it sucks but to be honest, our time apart has actually repaired our friendship, believe it or not. We get along so much better now and work together as a team better than we ever have. Maybe there was just too much pressure on the relationship? I’m not really sure, but being apart it’s working for us.
Of course, how this was going to effect Callan was our biggest concern, so we wanted to keep things as civil and normal for her as possible. My parents got divorced when I was ten and it was like world war three, they could barley be together in the same room, and eventually my relationship with my father disolved completely. So, it was really important to me that she didn’t grow up that way (*disclaimer: for the record, my mom is a saint and raised me and my two sisters alone better than with the help of my dad. She’s a better dad he could have ever been and twice the mom she ever thought possible). We (after much trial and error, arguing and negotiating) decided to trade off with Callan every four days and help each other in between if we need it. We also make a point to do something all three of us, Callan, Dom and myself, at least once or twice a week just to remind her that everything is okay and we both still love her just the same. In fact, the funny thing is, I actually think we get together and do stuff together more now than we did when we were together!
Anyways, now that I don’t constantly have Callan with me, I’ve learned to take full advantage of my alone time to re-center and just relax. Of course, this time isn’t for long periods at a time due to my work schedule and other miscellaneous stuff, but I need to remind myself to slow down every now and then so I don’t totally lose my $h!@. Seriously guys, a nap or my personal favorite…heading down to the beach and getting lost in a good book for an hour or so, can make all the difference. After just an hour or two to do what I want is like a reset button and a way more pleasant person to be around haha. At night, my guilty pleasure is making myself a drink and mindlessly re-watching friends for the gazillionth time, because let’s face it, FRIENDS WILL NEVER GET OLD! And I know I’m not the only one who feels like this sometimes, I’ve had friends that cancelled plans because they need some time for themselves and I totally get it! There’s no shame in having a little “me time” every now and then, more power to ya for admitting it!
And don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love love love my time with Callan, and I cherish it now more than ever, but some time apart is healthy for both of us. Plus it gives Callan and her dad special one on one time together to keep their relationship strong. So in the mean time, this mama will keep workin’ on herself!