These pictures were made possible by Hannah Morgan & Starbursts…
These pictures were made possible by Hannah Morgan & Starbursts…
ME: Working more hours than I have in my entire life between two jobs and being a mom. Ironically, trying to slowly cut coffee out of my diet even with the lack of sleep I get, just because I think it would be better for my health. Really considering going back to school, just trying to work out the scheduling. Trying to get outside and travel as much as I possibly can because life is about freakin’ living my friends! Hustled to get a passport in time for an upcoming trip because a new law required it for all flights including domestic, only for the effective date to get pushed back until 2020. Awesome. Chopped my locks and go back and fourth between if I should keep it short or grow it back out because I kind of miss it every now and then. Also, go brown?? Can’t decide. Upgraded to Spotify premium and wondering why it ever took me so long, especially with my music ADD. Thinking about upgrading my car as well. Can feel it in my bones that 2018 is going to be real good to me.
YOU: Cooking up a storm in your play kitchen on the daily. Rearranging all your toys and putting them around the house in very specific, random spots you think they should be. Talk about baby brothers and baby sisters all the time and asked if we could get one from Target. Collects boxes and needs to bring at least one with us where ever we go. Most of the time you start your sentences with “Sometimes I…” and tells me “that’s enough” when you want me to stop doing something like brush your hair. When you get caught doing something you’re not supposed to be doing you immediately say “nothing.” and hide the evidence. Still a picky eater but starting to really take a liking to chicken and fancy cheese plates. Will sit and watch the bachelor with me and during the rose ceremony will call me up to except a rose from you…of course I accept every time. Decided you didn’t want to wear diapers one day and potty trained yourself like it was nothing. Will call me from the other room just to tell me you love me.
Between Callan and work and somehow managing to squeeze in hanging out with friends, I’m exhausted. Then I realized why this was…I haven’t had a moment to myself to just breathe in who knows how long! I’m always trying to make the most of my time and lately all it feels like all I do is work, so when I do have an opening in my day and a friend asks if we can meet for lunch or something fun, I usually go because who knows when the next time our schedules will both be open at the same time again. But at the end of the day I’m totally defeated, you know why? Because I never have time to do anything for myself!
The truth is…I’m totally an introvert and love to just be alone. Even just painting my nails or read a book puts me in a better mood! When me and Dominick first started dating, there was plenty of times that I picked staying home by myself rather than hanging out, it just felt necessary. Then we had Callan and life just started moving at hyper speed, and well I was never really alone. Especially now that I’m working two jobs and she’s older now (which means she’s constantly wanting to do stuff), finding a moment to yourself is tough.
As most of you know and can probably tell, me and Dominick are no longer together and have taken on our new role as co-parents. Yeah yeah I know, it’s sad and it sucks but to be honest, our time apart has actually repaired our friendship, believe it or not. We get along so much better now and work together as a team better than we ever have. Maybe there was just too much pressure on the relationship? I’m not really sure, but being apart it’s working for us.
Of course, how this was going to effect Callan was our biggest concern, so we wanted to keep things as civil and normal for her as possible. My parents got divorced when I was ten and it was like world war three, they could barley be together in the same room, and eventually my relationship with my father disolved completely. So, it was really important to me that she didn’t grow up that way (*disclaimer: for the record, my mom is a saint and raised me and my two sisters alone better than with the help of my dad. She’s a better dad he could have ever been and twice the mom she ever thought possible). We (after much trial and error, arguing and negotiating) decided to trade off with Callan every four days and help each other in between if we need it. We also make a point to do something all three of us, Callan, Dom and myself, at least once or twice a week just to remind her that everything is okay and we both still love her just the same. In fact, the funny thing is, I actually think we get together and do stuff together more now than we did when we were together!
Anyways, now that I don’t constantly have Callan with me, I’ve learned to take full advantage of my alone time to re-center and just relax. Of course, this time isn’t for long periods at a time due to my work schedule and other miscellaneous stuff, but I need to remind myself to slow down every now and then so I don’t totally lose my $h!@. Seriously guys, a nap or my personal favorite…heading down to the beach and getting lost in a good book for an hour or so, can make all the difference. After just an hour or two to do what I want is like a reset button and a way more pleasant person to be around haha. At night, my guilty pleasure is making myself a drink and mindlessly re-watching friends for the gazillionth time, because let’s face it, FRIENDS WILL NEVER GET OLD! And I know I’m not the only one who feels like this sometimes, I’ve had friends that cancelled plans because they need some time for themselves and I totally get it! There’s no shame in having a little “me time” every now and then, more power to ya for admitting it!
And don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love love love my time with Callan, and I cherish it now more than ever, but some time apart is healthy for both of us. Plus it gives Callan and her dad special one on one time together to keep their relationship strong. So in the mean time, this mama will keep workin’ on herself!
Special thank you to Courtney Paige Photography for capturing all these sweet moments with my sweet girl.
Shirt via Mate the Label (unfortunately they no longer have this exact tank but they have tons of other great options!)
Callan’s Swim via Tori Praver Keiki-Kids
The Saguaro Palm Springs (seriously to die, it’s so cute!)
You: Having full conversations about pretty much everything and saying the funniest stuff, cracking everyone up on the daily. Streaks just about every chance you can, running through the house chanting “nakey baby nakey baby”! You are always very concerned about any “ouchie” you see on yourself or anyone else and needs to treat it with lots of bandaides and kisses. Not to mention, you are is also very persistent with checkups to see how it’s healing, it’s actually very sweet. Jumping off everything you can, giving mom multiple heart attacks a day. Will greet people as they walk by with “hi, my names Cowin” everywhere we go. Obsessed with sticks and leaves, always have to have your hands full of em’ (I swear between all the sticks, leaves, and sand we collect from the beach, our car is always a disaster). Pretending to fish off the back of the couch is the fun new game, that and playing in grandmas pillows is hours of fun, seriously who needs toys? Is usually the first to reach out her hands to say grace when we sit down together for dinner and the loudest the say Amen at the end, throwing her hands up in the air (one of the best parts about our nighttime routine).
Me: Trying to decide if I want to keep growing my hair out or chop it again (leaning towards the chop, what do you think?). Getting antsy about our family’s upcoming Vegas trip (sans baby) because mamas ready to let loose for a weekend, can I get some praise hands my party people?! Got a new job at a gym so, forcing my toast lovin’, half & half drinking booty to sweat off some extra lbs I’ve added because well, swim suit season is upon us and Callans dinner of choose is Mac n’ Cheese… Been really into hats lately but no where to put them when they aren’t on my head so it’s kind of becoming an issue. On the lookout for a cute bike to cruise around on without breaking the bank, if anyone has any suggestions of where I could find one, let me know! Classes are out and seriously debating if I’m going to do another semester because I don’t know if I can go through another online coding or web security class without ripping my hair out. Thinking about some family vacays to go on this Summer, maybe even just a good ole fashion beach camping trip would be fun! Overall, feeling really good about how everything is going in life right now and excited about the future, whatever it has in store for us.