Time for Me

Family + Baby, Uncategorized

Between Callan and work and somehow managing to squeeze in hanging out with friends, I’m exhausted. Then I realized why this was…I haven’t had a moment to myself to just breathe in who knows how long! I’m always trying to make the most of my time and lately all it feels like all I do is work, so when I do have an opening in my day and a friend asks if we can meet for lunch or something fun, I usually go because who knows when the next time our schedules will both be open at the same time again. But at the end of the day I’m totally defeated, you know why? Because I never have time to do anything for myself!

The truth is…I’m totally an introvert and love to just be alone. Even just painting my nails or read a book puts me in a better mood! When me and Dominick first started dating, there was plenty of times that I picked staying home by myself rather than hanging out, it just felt necessary. Then we had Callan and life just started moving at hyper speed, and well I was never really alone. Especially now that I’m working two jobs and she’s older now (which means she’s constantly wanting to do stuff), finding a moment to yourself is tough. 

As most of you know and can probably tell, me and Dominick are no longer together and have taken on our new role as co-parents. Yeah yeah I know, it’s sad and it sucks but to be honest, our time apart has actually repaired our friendship, believe it or not. We get along so much better now and work together as a team better than we ever have. Maybe there was just too much pressure on the relationship? I’m not really sure, but being apart it’s working for us.

Of course, how this was going to effect Callan was our biggest concern, so we wanted to keep things as civil and normal for her as possible. My parents got divorced when I was ten and it was like world war three, they could barley be together in the same room, and eventually my relationship with my father disolved completely. So, it was really important to me that she didn’t grow up that way (*disclaimer: for the record,  my mom is a saint and raised me and my two sisters alone better than with the help of my dad. She’s a better dad he could have ever been and twice the mom she ever thought possible). We (after much trial and error, arguing and negotiating) decided to trade off with Callan every four days and help each other in between if we need it. We also make a point to do something all three of us, Callan, Dom and myself, at least once or twice a week just to remind her that everything is okay and we both still love her just the same. In fact, the funny thing is, I actually think we get together and do stuff together more now than we did when we were together! 

Anyways, now that I don’t constantly have Callan with me, I’ve learned to take full advantage of my alone time to re-center and just relax. Of course, this time isn’t for long periods at a time due to my work schedule and other miscellaneous stuff, but I need to remind myself to slow down every now and then so I don’t totally lose my $h!@. Seriously guys, a nap or my personal favorite…heading down to the beach and getting lost in a good book for an hour or so, can make all the difference. After just an hour or two to do what I want is like a reset button and a way more pleasant person to be around haha. At night, my guilty pleasure is making myself a drink and mindlessly re-watching friends for the gazillionth time, because let’s face it, FRIENDS WILL NEVER GET OLD! And I know I’m not the only one who feels like this sometimes, I’ve had friends that cancelled plans because they need some time for themselves and I totally get it! There’s no shame in having a little “me time” every now and then, more power to ya for admitting it! 

And don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love love love my time with Callan, and I cherish it now more than ever, but some time apart is healthy for both of us. Plus it gives Callan and her dad special one on one time together to keep their relationship strong. So in the mean time, this mama will keep workin’ on herself! 

Advertisements

The Saguaro Palm Springs

Family + Baby

CourtneyPaigePhotography-8929CourtneyPaigePhotography-8673CourtneyPaigePhotography-8692CourtneyPaigePhotography-8682CourtneyPaigePhotography-8716CourtneyPaigePhotography-8735CourtneyPaigePhotography-8509CourtneyPaigePhotography-8508CourtneyPaigePhotography-8491CourtneyPaigePhotography-8586CourtneyPaigePhotography-8584CourtneyPaigePhotography-8591CourtneyPaigePhotography-8600CourtneyPaigePhotography-8744CourtneyPaigePhotography-8755CourtneyPaigePhotography-8758CourtneyPaigePhotography-8776CourtneyPaigePhotography-8774CourtneyPaigePhotography-8768CourtneyPaigePhotography-8782CourtneyPaigePhotography-8795CourtneyPaigePhotography-8796CourtneyPaigePhotography-8799CourtneyPaigePhotography-8801CourtneyPaigePhotography-8802CourtneyPaigePhotography-8809CourtneyPaigePhotography-8841CourtneyPaigePhotography-8842CourtneyPaigePhotography-8845CourtneyPaigePhotography-8851CourtneyPaigePhotography-8852CourtneyPaigePhotography-8853CourtneyPaigePhotography-8861CourtneyPaigePhotography-8884

Photography:

Special thank you to Courtney Paige Photography for capturing all these sweet moments with my sweet girl.

Outfit Details:

Shirt via Mate the Label (unfortunately they no longer have this exact tank but they have tons of other great options!)

Swim via Beach Riot and you can find the bottoms here but I can’t find the top I paired it with anymore, so here is the original top to the set!

Callan’s Swim via Tori Praver Keiki-Kids

Location:

The Saguaro Palm Springs (seriously to die, it’s so cute!)

Project Me & You

Family + Baby

You: Having full conversations about pretty much everything and saying the funniest stuff, cracking everyone up on the daily. Streaks just about every chance you can, running through the house chanting “nakey baby nakey baby”! You are always very concerned about any “ouchie” you see on yourself or anyone else and needs to treat it with lots of bandaides and kisses. Not to mention, you are is also very persistent with checkups to see how it’s healing, it’s actually very sweet. Jumping off everything you can, giving mom multiple heart attacks a day. Will greet people as they walk by with “hi, my names Cowin” everywhere we go. Obsessed with sticks and leaves, always have to have your hands full of em’ (I swear between all the sticks, leaves, and sand we collect from the beach, our car is always a disaster). Pretending to fish off the back of the couch is the fun new game, that and playing in grandmas pillows is hours of fun, seriously who needs toys? Is usually the first to reach out her hands to say grace when we sit down together for dinner and the loudest the say Amen at the end, throwing her hands up in the air (one of the best parts about our nighttime routine). 

Me: Trying to decide if I want to keep growing my hair out or chop it again (leaning towards the chop, what do you think?). Getting antsy about our family’s upcoming Vegas trip (sans baby) because mamas ready to let loose for a weekend, can I get some praise hands my party people?! Got a new job at a gym so, forcing my toast lovin’, half & half drinking booty to sweat off some extra lbs I’ve added because well, swim suit season is upon us and Callans dinner of choose is Mac n’ Cheese… Been really into hats lately but no where to put them when they aren’t  on my head so it’s kind of becoming an issue. On the lookout for a cute bike to cruise around on without breaking the bank, if anyone has any suggestions of where I could find one, let me know! Classes are out and seriously debating if I’m going to do another semester because I don’t know if I can go through another online coding or web security class without ripping my hair out. Thinking about some family vacays to go on this Summer, maybe even just a good ole fashion beach camping trip would be fun! Overall, feeling really good about how everything is going in life right now and excited about the future, whatever it has in store for us.

Babychella

Family + Baby

Last weekend, I attended the very first ever Babychella. It was so nuts ! Adorable babes in flower crowns and lots of activities everywhere you looked. It happened to be on one of the hottest days and was packed so I was happy I decided not to bring Callan. Plus, I actually had a chance to stop and look at all the cute shops and booths without worrying if my little boho babe was off chasing bubbles or something haha ! Anyways, I scored this adorable little handmade wooden camera for Callan and I got to meet the women who made it! That’s one of my favorite parts about shopping small businesses, because you really get to see who is behind all of it, its way more personal and meaningful.

When I saw this camera I knew Callan would love it, she’s always using our phones or something similar to pretend taking our picture, so I knew I couldn’t leave without it. If you want to get a camera for your own little one or someone you know might want one, head over to her site here, and check them out !


Also, I’ve received lots of messages about where Callans blue and white stripped shirt (worn in the pictures below) is from and it’s from a shop called Tot Mart, also a small shop we meet at Babychella. They have a ton of the cutest clothes, it was hard to narrow it down. You can shop them here.

You Don’t Know Me

Family + Baby, Uncategorized

Okay, I try and keep it pretty real and positive on here for the most part (haven’t fully opened up about everything-not that ready to yet) but I have to talk about something that’s been really burning me up and can’t stop thinking about.

The other night while I was working, I ran into someone I used to hangout with for a little before I had Callan, went on a few dates here and there but just didn’t really click. Anyways, I was polite and asked how he has been and he said good. Then he gave me this weird look and asked me, “So, how’s the whole baby thing working out? Must be really hard.” In probably the most judgmental way possible. There are so many other ways you can ask about my child, (who is pretty much perfect without question) than to ask with a look in your face like I’ve made some sort of mistake or something. Nonetheless, I didn’t want to make a big deal about it, especially at work so I replied with a “really good, she’s seriously the best.” Then he goes on to say something along the lines of, “well there’s a difference between a good kid and and easy kid. I’m sure it’s pretty hard.”… I could not believe I was even having this conversation. I couldn’t help but laugh and walk away at that point.

First of all, Callan is seriously thee best thing that has ever happened in my life and I wouldn’t change a single thing about her, the timing, her father, nothing. She’s absolutely perfect and I’ve never once looked at her like she was some sort of burden or mistake. She only continues to make my life brighter and happier every single day. Secondly, sure we have some hard days and I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never sat in my car and cried when sometimes it gets to be a lot but I’m only human and sometimes you have to let it out in order to reset.

But to stand there and judge me like you know my life and assume it must be really hard because I’m a young mom who isn’t married or anything, is so just plain rude and naive. I have such an unbelievable support system and family who constantly shower Callan with love and wanting to help out. I have no need for that kind of negative energy in my life about something so positive like a child.

Maybe the ones who judge only think the way they do because they have never experienced the love a parent has for a child and can’t even wrap their head around what they are actually missing. You carry this blessing in your body, surrendering it to be stretched and expanded in way you didn’t think possible, for this little person you haven’t even met yet because you already have this crazy love for them right from the start. Then, you see their little face and all their tiny features, and can’t even fathom how you have created something so unbelievably perfect. It won’t be until you have a kid of your own that you begin to understand and appreciate why your parents did the things that they did and made the choices they did until you are holding this precious little mini version of yourself, and don’t know what you would do if anything bad happened to them.

So bottom line, don’t judge someone based on what statistics say or what you think is right, because in reality you have no idea. Boy bye.