The Holiday Card I Never Send

Cloth + Style, Family + Baby, Uncategorized

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These pictures were made possible by Hannah Morgan  & Starbursts…

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Project Me & You

Family + Baby, Uncategorized

 

ME: Working more hours than I have in my entire life between two jobs and being a mom. Ironically, trying to slowly cut coffee out of my diet even with the lack of sleep I get, just because I think it would be better for my health. Really considering going back to school, just trying to work out the scheduling. Trying to get outside and travel as much as I possibly can because life is about freakin’ living my friends! Hustled to get a passport in time for an upcoming trip because a new law required it for all flights including domestic, only for the effective date to get pushed back until 2020. Awesome. Chopped my locks and go back and fourth between if I should keep it short or grow it back out because I kind of miss it every now and then. Also, go brown?? Can’t decide. Upgraded to Spotify premium and wondering why it ever took me so long, especially with my music ADD. Thinking about upgrading my car as well. Can feel it in my bones that 2018 is going to be real good to me.

YOU: Cooking up a storm in your play kitchen on the daily. Rearranging all your toys and putting them around the house in very specific, random spots you think they should be. Talk about baby brothers and baby sisters all the time and asked if we could get one from Target. Collects boxes and needs to bring at least one with us where ever we go. Most of the time you start your sentences with “Sometimes I…” and tells me “that’s enough” when you want me to stop doing something like brush your hair. When you get caught doing something you’re not supposed to be doing you immediately say “nothing.” and hide the evidence. Still a picky eater but starting to really take a liking to chicken and fancy cheese plates. Will sit and watch the bachelor with me and during the rose ceremony will call me up to except a rose from you…of course I accept every time. Decided you didn’t want to wear diapers one day and potty trained yourself like it was nothing. Will call me from the other room just to tell me you love me.

 

Callan is Three

Uncategorized

She’s Three! Holy smokes, how do I already have a three year old?! People tell you they grow up fast but you really don’t understand just how fast until you blink and all of a sudden they are another year older!

 

In the morning me and Dominick surprised Callan with a room decorated full of balloons…

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and banners…

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party hats…

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and of course a donut cake (& presents)!

Callan’s Tresanera

Normally, I start getting ready for Callans birthday party months in advance and go balls to the wall on a big Pintrest party but this year was a little different. We figured we would skip the stress and save some pennies on a good ole fashion birthday party at the house with family and a few friends and i’m so happy we did because it was absolutely perfect!

In honor of Callan’s Mexican roots, Dominick and I decided to throw her a Tresanera because we just couldn’t wait until she was fifteen!

Vamos de Fiesta!…

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Dominick’s Uncle, Grady, and his girlfriend, Brooke, saw this dress last Swallows day and just couldn’t resist, I mean…how could they?! It was perfect for the celebration!

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Callan cheesing in front of her second pinata (because you can’t have just one) with her Tios, Danny & Andrew and of course her best friend (cousin) Ben!

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What can I say, shes a natural.

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Ah Mi Amor!

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We didn’t rent out a park this year or spend months prepping for the party, but Callan spent the day surrounded by people who love her, playing so hard she ended the day with the dirtiest feet, hair barley in pig tails and a ripped dress. That’s what I call a successful birthday.

Callan is constantly changing and i’m sure year three will have its fair share of surprises but it is seriously such a blessing & surreal thing to watch. She went from this tiny 6 pound, wrinkly little person who can’t do anything on her own to this independent toddler who is telling me “no, I do it myself” all the time and now takes us an hour to get out the door because she insist on putting on her jacket by herself. I love it, every minute, even the hard times when it can be hard to see the beauty in it. I made her sure, but she is so much her own person and everyday I see more and more of her wild, caring, silly personality come out. Then just when I think I can’t love her anymore than I already do, she does something, she grows, she says something, breathes, anything really and I fall in love all over again.

Callan is my love and my light. She is honestly the biggest blessing in my entire life and i’m so unbelievably happy she entered my world earlier than expected just so I can love her just a little bit longer.

Happy Birthday Baby C !

Turning 23 Among the Trees

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Personally, i’m not big on celebrating my own birthday. In fact, I don’t even usually tell people when my birthday is because I don’t like all that attention on myself. So, this year me and my boyfriend Aaron, skipped out of town for the weekend and headed somewhere I’ve been really wanting to go…the Sequoias! Giant, tall trees and exploring a place with no Wifi is way more my style of celebrating anyway! Here is a little peek into what some of our trip looked like…

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Last year was probably the hardest year of my life, but I learned a lot about myself and for that I am thankful because those experiences and lessons I went through, made me have a better understanding on who I am and what I truly want out of life. So, with that being said I am fully embracing turning 23 and am so excited for whatever this new trip around the sun may bring and the new lessons it will teach.

Unprepared

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Kids ask a lot of questions, all day long… “Where are we going?” “What does this do?” “Why?…Why?…Why?” And most of the time I pretty much have an answer for just about everything. Except last night. Last night was a little different and a question I was definitely not ready for.

We were sitting in the living room and Callan was playing with her baby and she was telling me her baby was sad because she wanted her daddy. Then she looked at me and asked, “Where’s your daddy Mommy?”

I’m not sure if I’ve ever really talked about my dad on any kind of social media or even mentioned him on here, but he’s hasn’t been apart of my life for years, in fact I’m not even sure the last time I’ve talked to him come to think of it. So I haven’t really seen the point to bring him up, I’ve never even told Callan about him and she’s never met him. It wasn’t until she asked where he was that it had even crossed my mind that one day she might be curious about who her grandpa was.

To be totally honest, I’m not really sure who he is. It’s been so long since we’ve had any kind of relationship that I’m not sure what he likes or even what he does. I don’t even know what he looks like now! Nonetheless, I was stumped. I didn’t know what to say so I panicked and said he was sleeping…

Sleeping?!

After those words came out of my mouth all I could think of was, ‘Oh god that’s the best I could think of??’ Callan is probably going to ask me again when it isn’t night time, then what am I going to say!?’ Shit.

I want to have an open and honest relationship with my daughter because I want her to be open and honest with me. Plus, I feel like if you treat and talk to them like a baby and just coddle them, it isn’t doing them any favors. Obviously, I don’t need to tell her all the little details of what happened between me and my dad but I’m really struggling on how I should navigate this.

& one of the main reasons why I want me and Dominick to have a good friendship is because I don’t want Callan to have the same relationship me and my dad have. My parents didn’t along after their divorce and it didn’t help the transition, eventually it felt as though we needed to choose a side and my mom won hands down. Just for the record, my mom is a freaking saint of a women and is twice the parent my dad ever could have been, but it did suck not having him there for all those big moments in life. For example, he wasn’t there when I graduated high school, to celebrate my birthdays or when I had Callan, and isn’t going to be there to walk me down the aisle at my wedding. I don’t want that for Callan. That’s why it is so important to maintain a healthy co-parent/friend relationship with her dad so they keep that close father/daughter relationship.

I don’t know, I’m honestly at a loss for words about it really, struggling to even put my thought into words writing this but just can’t seem to get it off my mind. Kids really do ask a lot of questions and sometimes it’s the really hard ones you don’t want to answer…